Makeup makes women appear more competent

I love how the first Vogue issue which is released in the new year also includes the "Cosmetic Enhancement Guide 2012".

Here's some hilarious catch phrases from the guide:

• "Breast reduction - Life Augmentation"
• "You don't get a second chance to make a first impression"
• "The nose serves as the axis of the face"

Regardless, I think what this issue most points out is that there is more to fashion than just the clothes you wear.  It also matters how you wear them (and that you choose clothes that suit your malformed breasts until you can get cosmetic surgery... just kidding).

Recently, a study "revealed" that makeup makes women appear more competent.  Apparently, wearing makeup improves how people perceive your likability, competence and trustworthiness.  I'm sure that the boys at work, the male partners and the cosmetic companies are cheering about this.  

When I first started my job last year, I felt that it was a cold world where makeup and heels were more important than intelligence.  Now, I think that its a mixture of both, and in a such a ruthless corporate world, people intent on climbing the corporate ladder should use everything they have available to them to do that.  

So, what do you think?  How important is it to wear makeup at work?  

I've found my one true love....

According to this ad, which I have seen absolutely everywhere, my one true love is Tiffany & Co.  I'm glad advertising and materialism have picked out my one true love for me.  No need to search for "the one" any longer.

Bags, bags, bags

When I was young, I never thought I would grow to like bags.  They are heavy and you have to carry them around all the time.  I despised the fact that women were expected to carry bags and men just stuffed their items into their pockets.  I still don't like carrying bags.

But hell do I LOVE BUYING BAGS!!

Kikki.K Norrmalm

Excuse me, but when did Kikki.K start selling bags, and aren't Mimco angry that they're trying to steal their style??  Also, this bag is $450.00, the average price at Mimco!!  Regardless, you can view the whole range of Kikki.K bags and wallets here.

Laptop/iPad/Tablet Cases as Clutches

A4 clutches are in at the moment, and I'm particularly loving the idea of using an laptop/iPad case as a clutch. 

Blackberry PlayBook Leather Envelope  $59.99

Marc Jacobs Quilted Leather iPad Bag $495.00

Just waiting for a point in my career where $1000 sounds reasonable to spend on a bag...

Reed Krakoff $990.00

In the meantime I'm just gonna laugh along to Natalie Dee...

LOL... drowns my money related pain..

Accessories haul

Remember that episode of Friends where Chandler Ross (!)  talks about "Unagi" - a state of total awareness.  (n.b. it actually means eel in Japanese).  Watch it here.   SOOOO Funny....

Anyway,  USAGI headbands are in at the moment.  Usagi means rabbit, and as you can see, these headbands look like rabbit ears.  They are absolutely adorable!  I picked this one up at Sportsgirl for about $20.00.  The "ears" have wire-like stuff in them so that they stand up and can be shaped into folded down rabbit ears as well as standy-up rabbit ears.   Casual Friday here we come (i.e. me and my bunny ears).

Also, I cut my fringe (I mean cut it myself, with scissors).... and haven't cut or dyed my hair since everyone thinks it's a horrible idea.

Do you like my hat??

hope Necklace

DANGER!!!!!!

uuuuunnaaagggiiiii.    LOL

Sales assistant snobbery

I love to work.  I always say that I would probably still work even if you didn't pay me.  This has meant that through-out my teens and young adulthood I always had a surplus of my own money.  I loved to work all the time and I was somewhat oblivious to how much money I received as a result.  As a teenager, dressed in short shorts, a singlet and thongs, I often had more money that could be spent out whatever I felt like, than the average 30 year old woman in her tailored business suit and expensive shoes.   So why are sales assistants so bitchy and judgemental?

What are the factors by which sales assistant's judge whether I have money or not, and whether I am going to spend money or not?  

I absolutely HATE it when I go to an "expensive" store to buy something and I don't get served.  Oroton, for example, makes up a large proportion of my accessories; yet when I walk into the store, it feels as if I'm a homeless person looking for a toilet.  The sales assistants don't even look at me for fear of catching my poorness disease.  Thank god for online shopping because I don't enjoy browsing in a store like that.  It makes me feel uncomfortable and it sure kills the shopping mood, like a cock-block for sales.

Mimco is another one that can be hit and miss.  Sometimes they will ask me millions of questions and get everything I look at out of the case and make me try it on, other times they just grunt and avoid me, even if I stare at the same item for over five minutes (trying to use my x-ray ability to read the price tag from within the jewellery cabinet).

Cue is quite the opposite.  No matter how stupidly I am dressed, even if I came in my pajamas, they would still take everything I picked up to the change room and ask me if I needed assistance.  I'm not sure if this is part of their extremely highly-pitched voice routine, or their often fake friendliness, but I don't really care.  It's a lot easier to politely say no thanks to someone who greets you and offers you help you don't want, than it is to try and catch the attention of someone who has written you off as a dole-bludger.

Regardless, shop assistant's need to change their perceptions.  Gen Y is full of money to spend; we still live at home, we have good jobs, and we don't care about saving for the future.  We are just waiting for something to spend more money on.  We're keeping the economy afloat.

Have you been treated poorly by a sales asssistant?  What do they expect me to wear in order for them to give me the time of day?  Similarly,  I'm trying to buy their clothes so I look like they are expecting me to look.  How can I be impeccably dressed if they refuse to serve me??

Thank god I'm a woman because I hate pants

I hate pants, pants hate me.  Ever since I moved past a size 8, pants have pretty much become my enemy.  If, at some point, I can squeeze my ass/legs into said pants, they either look ridiculous on my legs or cause cascading muffin tops only a horrible baker would ever encounter.

Pants make my legs feel scared and imprisoned.  Pants make my stomach feel fat and sticky-outty.  Sadly, I've come to the realisation that working in the corporate world means multiple "contribute money to a charity and wear jeans, if you don't wear jeans everyone will assume you forgot, or you're a hateful person who doesn't want to donate" days.

Back to my hate of pants. Pants are restrictive, they are evil.  When you sit down stuff comes out the back and the front and gets pudgy. Pants only look ok when I am standing straight or lying flat, and I don't think I can manage a whole day in the office doing either.

Pants suck.

General Pants Co have opened the Denim Co Concept Store where you book in and they find you the best pair of jeans ever to grace your ass (apparently).  It's in the QVB, and I think I'm going to take the plunge and book in for an appointment (yes you need an appointment).   Does it scare me that someone's going to be waiting outside the change room while I cry about jeans?  Possibly.  Will they have jeans that fit my size 14 stomach?  Possibly.  Only time will tell.

As a side note, I wonder how much the freaking jeans are gonna cost...

Fashion I'm in love with right now

Shout out to Natalie Dee for this hilarious scribbling

Another month, another trend. 

Accessories

Why do people wear ugly accessories?  Accessories are just like words,  if you don't have anything nice to wear, don't wear any!  I recently saw a young lady on the bus with the most repulsive matching hat and scarf.  It was like a car crash and I couldn't look away... not to mention the whole look made me question her sanity for the remainder of the bus-ride.  I actually thought "maybe she's just crazy and her fashion disaster is not really her fault".

If you're looking for something funky and home-grown try Recreational, Young Republic and Petite Grand. How cute is the jewellery from Recreational? I love this iPod Headphones necklace.

$39.00 from Recreational

Knits

Knits are in, in a big way.   Personally, I love the cold.  I have worn my Havaianas everyday this Winter and I have not suffered at all.  However, I know that not everyone is as big a fan of the frost as me.  Don't worry, your time of heat will come, and you will find me melting on the office floor.  In the meanwhile, you can be thankful that knits are sexy this season.

Try Sportsgirl (and they're on sale!) and the likes for some cute knits to warm up your work outfits.  Try this Sloppy Cable Sweater over a pink and white striped long-sleeve shirt. 

Sloppy Cable Sweater $89.95 from Sportsgirl

Other Things I am in Love with Right Now

This shirt from Eleventh Hour which is probably close to $300 but I love the style.  I think it'd look beautiful with a skirt suit in the office.

Carman's Muesli Bars now come in "Rounds" which I think is just another word for "cookies you don't feel guilty about". Yay!

This ring is a copy of a Jordan Askill Single Heart Ring which retailed at $180.00 but sold out, this means I don't feel bad buying a $30 copy off Etsy.

Generosity is so fashionable right now.  Why not give some food to someone homeless, buy the Big Issue, give thoughtful gifts to your friends, write notes to people to tell them how you feel about them and brighten their day or make a packed lunch for your significant other?


Things that have me Confuzzled

How can Shoptilyoudrop, which is basically just a big magazine full of advertisements which try to convince me to buy things, be so enticing?  What compels me to spend money to read advertising?

Also, I am heavily considering chopping my hair to my shoulders for a more professional look...  in case anyone wanted to weigh-in on the issue.

On a side note, why do hipsters dress like they are homeless?

Dressing for your shape and size

My biggest pet peeve is people who don't dress for their size and shape.  I never subject people to seeing my fat legs in short shorts or my tuckshop arms in spaghetti straps.  Look in the mirror and think about other people for once!  No one needs to see your lumpy legs; wear a skirt, trousers or something a tad looser and longer.  No one needs to see your flabby belly, stop wearing tight tops and crop tops and invest in a normal shirt.

Being end of financial year, we have recently had our EOFY work function.  For any new starters, like myself, I thought I would share some age old wisdom about work functions.

1.  Dress for your shape.  Seriously, if everyone is going as skanky santa and you are thunder thighs then put on some leggings or a longer skirt.  Or how about volunteering to be the sleigh or something?  Not only does your outfit hurt my eyes, but it hurts other people's impressions of you.

2.  Be friendly, but not too friendly.  This especially applies to the older men who may work at your firm.

3. Remember that if you wouldn't want your grandma seeing you in it, you probably wouldn't want your workmates seeing you wearing it.

4. Have fun.  There is nothing worse than people who ruin the fun for everyone else.

5. Use other people's drunkenness to network with them.  They are more likely to talk to you about personal things without feeling like you are awkwardly trying too hard to be their friend.  I swear it's not manipulative...

6.  Take care of each other.  Next year you could be the one in need of a hand.

In other news,  I bought a beautiful 1920's style hat this weekend from Forever New for $39.95. It is similar to this one below, but in camel, and I am dying to wear it to high tea, or on a picnic...

Comfortable corporate wear

“Dress sharply and they notice the dress.  Dress impeccably and they notice the woman – Coco Chanel”

I'm currently stuck in my comfy bed with the flu, and it got me thinking about comfortable office wear.  Does it even exist?  I know most office clothes are meant to be structural and tailored,  but some days my body hates me, or we have a loooong lunch to attend, or I'm just downright sick.  On those kinds of days I want to be comfortable, and I don't want to have to sacrifice my sense of fashion-self to do it.  I'm definitely not going to be wearing a snuggie to the office.

Flats

The first item of clothing that heavily affects my level of comfort, when all I want to do is lie under the desk and die, is shoes.  High heels on a day when your muscles are sore just make the office a living hell.  That is where flats come in.  Keep some black flats and some heels that go with everything under your desk at all times and you will never have a bad foot day again.

For the office, it's best if your flats are closed toed, neutral coloured, and in good condition.  Make sure they have some sort of soft sole going on and that they are not just a piece of fabric between your foot and the ground.

Steve Madden Kindness $35.95

Stuart Weitzman Elderberry $235.00

Edward Mellar Fixation $189.00

Structured dresses with a bit of stretch

You may have seen the word "ponte" on clothing labels,  this is actually the name of a polyester knit fabric that  resists wrinkles and creases and is very durable.  So, you'll be comfortable and you wont have to iron it in the morning.  As an added bonus, you can fill up at that firm-funded lunch.  For a cheaper option, Basque does a lot of dresses in this fabric. 

Michael Kors Ponte Pencil Skirt $52.12

Queenspark Ponte Dress $99.98

Wrap dresses

Wrap dresses are flattering and comfortable.  Just be careful with the necklines on these dresses which tend to be too low if you don't buy the right size. 

Leona Edmiston Latifa Dress $465.00

Allanah Hill I'm a Bit Beautiful Frock  $389.00

What not to wear

Do not attempt to wear track pants to work.  They are NOT going out clothes, despite what those Bonds ads insinuated. 

No, the heels don't make it any better

Don't wear clothes that are too tight.  They are bound to be uncomfortable, for you and for the people who have to look at you. 

Alicia, what is going on?

Don't wear ugly clothes.  Your "comfy" clothes to lounge around in at home and eat ice cream out of the tub in when your boyfriend dumps you, are not office appropriate. 

Don't just belt your Slanket and get on the bus

And when I feel so bad I can't even get a good outfit on, I know I'm too sick to go to work.

Corporate gyms - you never know who you might see

After a workout I tend to look like I am about to die.  If a man can see me at the gym and still be attracted to me, then he must be blind.  The particular problem with corporate gyms and gyms close to the workplace is that you may run into the more senior members of your office.  As a result, what you wear and do at the gym may affect your colleagues perceptions of you.

Exercising is always going to be a positive thing.  When people see that you take care of yourself and are motivated to get out there and do something, they know you are healthy and motivated in other areas of your life.    For guys, there is much to be said about not being a douche at the gym;  for the ladies, remember the gym is for working out and people respect that.

Men please do not:

• Come to Body Pump and proceed to lift weights so heavy that everyone is concerned that you will injure yourself with your poor form.  You do not look strong and manly, you look stupid.
• Attempt to pick up women at the gym.  This includes leering at women through the mirror.
• Forget to wear deodorant.  Have you ever wondered why I move treadmills when you come near me?
• Wear jeans.  I can't believe how many men wear jeans to the gym.
• Wonder why people in the office don't take you seriously after they see you committing these crimes at the gym.

Women please do not:

• Put makeup on to impress people at the gym.  
• Wear only a sports bra.  Men will look, they can't help it, and you don't want those men to be your boss.
• Forget to wear a bra at all.  Your breasts will thank you.
• Wear inappropriate shorts.  Try your shorts on before you buy them. Do the downward dog in the change room and check in the mirror that your labia aren't hanging out.  While you're at it check that your leggings/tights/capri things aren't see through when you bend over.
• Wonder why your workmates don't take you seriously when they just spent an hour leering at your whore-ish outfit at the gym.

Gym clothes can be somewhat of a pain to buy.  Would you rather a new pair of runners or a new pair of heels?  Would you rather some running tops or a new dress?  It's a hard world.

Eastbay

Eastbay sells Adidas, Asics, Brooks, Nike etc clothing, shoes and accessories for a lot cheaper than we get here in Australia.  You can order online and shipping is around $33.00, which is definitely worthwhile considering the savings you get.

Adidas Shorts $19.99

Nike T-Shirt $24.99

Brooks Capri $39.99

Lululemon

Some people swear by Lululemon. I am still unsure of my position on the brand, but they seem to have some funky stuff.  Maybe if I was as thin as the girl in their ads then I would feel more inclined to wear their clothing.

Run-Revitalize Tech $62.00

Running Key Cuff $10.00

Gather & Crow Crop $69.00

Lorna Jane

Lorna Jane are probably best known for their inspirational tops.  I quite like the phrases, but they don't suit people with a tummy (like me).  

Never Give Up Singlet $34.99

Portia 3/4 Tight $80.99

Just be glad the eighties have passed.

Faux Pas

A faux pas is defined by Wikipedia as "a slip or blunder in etiquette, manners, or conduct; an embarrassing social blunder or indiscretion."  As quick as I am to avoid fashion faux pas, I often accidentally commit social suicide when I violate the social norms and cross into social faux pas territory.

One of my biggest flaws is that I am horrible with names.  If I don't have you on Facebook, and your name is not written near your face somewhere, it is very likely that I won't remember your name.  In fact, when you say "Hi my name is Blah", by the time I say ,"nice to meet you", I have no idea what you said your name was.  You could introduce yourself numerous times with different names and it would take me a while to cotton on. 

At my current workplace I have incorrectly accused someone of being a PA, not that there's anything wrong with that, but the person in question was a manager more senior than myself.  Just today I asked someone if we had met before, despite the fact we have actually had an entire conversation before.  I swear I am just not good with names and faces.  


At least I profusely apologise for my social faux pas.  Nobody ever apologises when they commit a fashion faux pas.  If you commit the below offences, there's no one you can apologise to enough to make it okay.

Shrimp Cocktail Toes

This occurs where your open-toed shoes are too small, and your toes hang over them like a shrimp cocktail.

Canadian Tuxedo
Also known as the denim sandwich, or denim on denim.

Track suits on fat people

Please don't dress like you're going to the gym when you haven't seen one in years.

Leggings as pants

Leggings are not pants. 

Also tights are not leggings.

Jeggings have no place in the world

Side boob

Especially droopy side boob, I'm sorry gravity has caught up with you.  Not even the men want to see that.

What are your most hated fashion faux-pas?