What's shaped like a vagina and holds tampons?

Sometimes I feel the need to buy "Fashion Police" stickers and walk around the city sticking them to people dressed atrociously.  One of the worst fashion crimes in Sydney is women who wear ugly or cheap looking bags.  A bag can ruin an entire outfit; and if you're wondering why I'm throwing up on the bus to work, it's not motion sickness, it's your hideous bag.

I understand the idea that a bag should be practical and not just fashionable, but in my opinion it needs to be both.  You don't see me wearing my practical pajamas to work. My point is, practical is just one part of the accessory story.

On the topic of practicality, a work bag should be able to fit A4 paper and a pair of shoes in it. I recently purchased an Oroton briefcase which I personally think is perfect.  It can fit a laptop and some A4 shaped items, and its structured.

I was once told that your work bag should reflect your work. A structured bag reflects an organised, strong person; a slouchy hobo reflects a slouchy hobo person.

I do love hobos though (the bags!!), I've been lusting for the Marc Jacobs Classic Q Hillier Hobo.  I think it's got just enough structure for me to pass off as an organised person who dislikes hobos, but secretly enjoys watching bum fights.

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 And work bags don't need to be black, although it seriously helps when you look at your leather bags and wallets and realize you somehow managed to get blue pen marks on every single one of them, and then when you try to remove the marks with leather cleaner it removes the leather but NOT the blue pen!!!!! AARGH. 

Anyway, I thought I'd leave you with some vomit-inducing handbags for you to consider. 

   "Marc by Marc Jacobs Pretty Nylon Tote"

Marc, I know you tried to fool me into buying this by putting your name on it, but it's not working.  I can't work out if this bag is made of a quilt, or it's a giant nappy bag. Or is it a sleeping bag?  Whatever it is, I'm not paying $198 for it

   I don't even know what this bag is
Katherine Heigl, I'm sure I don't have to remind you that you are a celebrity and you are setting a bad example for young women across the world.  If anybody knows where this bag is from, I'd love to hear from you.

   Louis Vuitton Tribute Patchwork bag 
OMG girls!! Only 24 of these bags were made evarrrr!!! and with a price tag of only about $40,000 why wouldn't everyone want one!!!  The fact there are only 24 of these bags actually makes me happy that I am not likely to ever be subjected to seeing one in real life. It's like some kid in a sweatshop sewed all the half-made Louis Vuitton bags together when he ran out of material.

    The vag bag
I thought I'd throw this one in for a laugh.  I dare someone to actually wear it to work.  I've previously seen this on the web labelled "What's shaped like a vagina and holds tampons?"

   and just so you don't think I'm sexist...